The HaliCallahanicon of 2012 -- the TRUE Story -- Part I

PART I: It was the West of Times, it was the Burst of Times...

[We take you now to the field headquarters of the LIMEX LIBERATION ARMY, somewhere deep beneath the surface of the relatively recent Bedford Basin Fill Project, not far from the Esquire Motel, the Sobey's Supermarket, a much-frequented outlet of the Tim Horton's Doughnut Shoppe chain, Moirs Mill Road and its modest condominium townhouse at #28, Paper Mill Lake, and other attractions too numerous to be mentioned. An obsequious lieutenant is dancing attendance upon a shadowy figure carefully concealed behind an ornate Chinese screen, whose gravelly basso profundo voice seems to be engaged in something of a rant:]

"Curses! Curses! Somebody always helps that amanuensis! But bejewelled piano charm bookmark or no bejewelled piano charm bookmark, grey silk argyle sock or no gray silk argyle sock, I'm still great enough to conquer him! And woe to those who try to stop me!"

The obsequious lieutenant trembles obsequiously. "The incendiary team that failed so miserably in stopping the HaliCallahanicon of 2012 by setting fire to the air exchanger at #28 Moirs Mill Road just as the organizing committee was gathering for the first Sunday planning luncheon on February 19th of this year has been court-marshalled and awaits sentencing, your High Dudgeonness..."

"Have them thrown into the salt pits, and be sure to record their agonized screams as they are melting, melting for my delectation at dinner this evening..."

"Yes, your Mighty Muchness: as it is written, so let it be done..."

The shadowy figure behind the ornate Chinese screen is heard to sigh heavily as it extends a pseudopod in the general direction of a photograph lying on its desk and draws the picture nearer for viewing. What secret powers could possibly lie concealed deep within two such superficially innocuous items?



[TO BE CONTINUED...]

[We will be counting down the  TEN DAYS remaining until the HaliCallahanicon of 2012 Masquerade Party with ONE new Frequently Asked Question per day -- so check back -er- frequently, and be sure to refresh your browser when you do so, in order to see the latest version, and not a cached copy of an older one...]

[UPDATE] -- I'm behind on the Frequently Asked Questions -- I'll make an omibus post to get caught up TOMOROW -- PtMHFC'sFAaGF --

Frequently Asked Question #10: Just who IS (well, perhaps it would be better to phrase it "Just who WAS...") the Late and Much-Lamented Pernicious the Musquodoboit Harbour Farm Cat, anyhow?

The Late and Much-Lamented Pernicious the Musquodoboit Harbour Farm Cat is (I just can't bring myself to think of him in the past tense) a feline denizen of Hugo and Nebula Award-winning SF author Spider Robinson's novel Callahan's Crosstime Saloon. He is customarily to be found lying prone and belly-up astride the high-piled plate of ham sandwiches comprising the Free Lunch (tm) at that worthy establishment.  From this precarious perch he holds forth at length or in brief on a wide variety of subjects...  He first made his presence known to the Patronage-at-Large (tm) when one of them (whose name has, mercifully, long been forgotten) made a disparaging remark about Fundamentalist Christians, at one point referring to them as "Fundies."  At that very instant the late and much-lamented Pernicious the Musquodoboit Harbour Farm Cat strode into the bar through its much-patched oaken door (accompanied a pace or two to the rear by his faithful amanuensis and general factotum, a pudgy middle-aged Russian professor answering to the highly improbable name of "Barnstead") and, as a firm opponent of disparagement in all its forms (save when practiced by Himself, of course), instantly remarked:

"Hmmm... Fundies, eh?  Aren't they the ones with the highest tithes in the world?"

The roar of laughter that ensued not only blew the disparaging Patron out of the water, but out the much-patched oaken door of the Place (tm) as well, without even the necessity of opening it first, and Mike Callahan, the proprietor, happy to be rid of an obnoxious client, offered Pernicious a free beverage of his choice.

"I'll have a Wedgwood saucer of 32% cream. My faithful amanuensis and general factotum will have a beaker of fayalin -- needless to say, he'll PAY for his... and for the new repairs to the much-patched oaken door," replied the now late-and-much-lamented but in those days the very-much-alive,-kicking,-and-mightily-feisty Pernicious the Musquodoboit Harbour Farm Cat, who had no intention whatsoever of parting with a single farthing of his own substantial fortune, based on the profits from a small votive candle factory he owned outside of Philadelphia.  He had long been of the practice of distributing a portrait of himself (reproduced below) to random canaglia, who, of course, once in receipt of a copy felt an irresistible urge to burn a votive candle or seven in front of it.

And that was how it all began...

The Late and Much-Lamented
Pernicious the Musquodoboit Harbour
Farm Cat

Jazzing It Up

"Well, I for one am getting just a wee bit tired of this ongoing chain of improbable coincidences," sniffs the late and much lamented Pernicious the Musquodoboit Harbour Farm Cat contemptuously from his customary perch astride the pile of ham sandwiches comprising the Free Lunch (tm) at Mike Callahan's Crosstime Saloon.  "Next, I suppose, you'll be telling me that for inscrutable reasons of its own the internationally-renowned Halifax Jazz Festival has managed schedule itself to coincide with the HaliCallahanicon of 2012..."  At this point Pernicious glances in the general direction of his faithful amanuensis and general factotum, who, to his intense chagrin, seems to be nodding enthusiastically... Pernicious groans to himself: something will have to be done about his faithful amanuensis and general factotum... and soon... or heaven only knows what he'll be coming up with next...

"Here's a picture of last year's poster as a link to the Festival site -- and I see there are FREE CONCERTS between noon and five p.m. this year as usual at the Festival Tent -- " Pernicious the Musquodoboit Harbour Farm Cat's faithful amanuensis and general factotum enthuses -er- enthusiastically:

The 2011 Jazz Festival Poster --

2012's Jazz Festival Poster will be available soon!

Fiddleheads

I suppose by rights this post ought to be dedicated to singing the praises of the springtime vegetable delicacy available right now for a short time here in the Maritimes -- the still-unfurled ends of fern fronds that we find in the woods and gather, then steam or boil and fry briefly in butter and serve with a dash of vinegar -- but, alas, they will already be gone by the time the HaliCallahanicon is here.  No, instead I have in mind yet another incredible example of unconscious advance planning -- because for inscrutable reasons of its own the Sixty-third Annual Maritime Fiddle Festival has seen fit to schedule itself to coincide with the HaliCallahanicon of 2012, and is being held just across the harbour in Dartmouth! Click the banner below for more detailed information:

"Truly remarkable how these coincidences just seem to keep piling up..." drawls the late and much lamented Pernicious the Musquodoboit Harbour Farm Cat from astride his customary perch on top of the pile of ham sandwiches comprising the Free Lunch (tm) at Mike Callahan's Crosstime Saloon, meanwhile surreptitiously using a remote-controlled pair of his North Carolina Prosthetic Index Fingers (tm) to add his signature to yet another brief note recalling yet another hit squad he had been forced, very reluctantly, to dispatch via the Dartmouth Ferry to -er- purr-suade the management of Canada’s longest running old-time fiddle festival and competition  that scheduling their events to coincide with the HaliCallahanicon of 2012  was in everybody's best interests...

Boss!... Boss!... The Plane... the Plane...

By rights this post should be something technical about air transport to and from Halifax, but in fact the evocation of Hervé Villechaize's famous opening line from Fantasy Island is meant to introduce a RIDDLE:

When is a Tattoo not a Tattoo?

The answer is "When it's the Royal Nova Scotia International Tattoo, which just so happens also, for inscrutable reasons of its own, to have scheduled itself to coincide with the HaliCallahanicon of 2012...

What, you may ask, is the Royal Nova Scotia International Tattoo?  "I'm glad you asked!" enthuses the late and much lamented Pernicious the Musquodoboit Harbour Farm Cat's faithful amanuensis and general factotum.  "To quote (well, to paraphrase, actually) an excerpt from the official website: 

'The Royal Nova Scotia International Tattoo is a week-long event held every year in Nova Scotia, and the World's Largest Annual Indoor Spectacle.  The two-and-a-half hour family show is fast-paced – every scene only lasts about 3-6 minutes, so there is always something new to see and experience. Looking for a taste of true Nova Scotia? There are bagpipes, highland dancers, la culture de l’acadie and military traditions.

Hoping for something more modern? The Tattoo also features innovative acrobatic acts, modern music, contemporary dancing, trampoline routines and cutting-edge videos.  Ticket prices range from CAN$29.50 to CAN$72.00, and should be purchased well in advance.

There are also workshops and festival events!  The workshops and events are free!'

"Talk about your random coincidences..." purrs the late and much-lamented Pernicious the Musquodoboit Harbour Farm Cat from his usual perch astride the pile of ham sandwiches comprising the Free Lunch (tm) at Callahan's Crosstime Saloon, meanwhile surreptitiously using a remote-controlled pair of his North Carolina Prosthetic Index Fingers (tm) to add his signature to yet another brief note recalling yet another hit squad he had been forced, very reluctantly, to dispatch in the general direction of the Metro Centre in downtown Halifax to -er- purr-suade the management of a certain World's Largest Annual Indoor Spectacle  that scheduling this event to coincide with the HaliCallahanicon of 2012  was in everybody's best interests...

Once upon a Time... in a Museum not Far Away...

 

The late and much lamented Pernicious the Musquodoboit Harbour Farm Cat's faithful amanuensis and general factotum is delighted to announce that, through the employment of absolutely no prescience or political log-rolling on his part, the Nova Scotia Museum of Natural History for inscrutable reasons of its own has seen fit to organize a special exhibition to coincide with the HaliCallahanicon of 2012: 

Out of This World: Extraordinary Costumes from Film and Television will feature more than 40 costumes and related objects from science fiction films and television programs such as, Star Wars, Blade Runner, Terminator, Star Trek, Batman and more. The exhibition will allow visitors to examine how costume design incorporates colour, style, scale, materials, historical traditions nature and cultural cues to help performers and audiences engage, in new or accepted ways, with the characters being portrayed.

The exhibition includes 43 artifacts. Costume highlights include:

Hat worn by Margaret Hamilton as the Wicked Witch of the West in the film The Wizard of Oz (1939)

Leather jacket worn by Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones in the film Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) and Indy's whip from the film Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

Leather jacket worn by Arnold Schwarzenegger in the film The Terminator (1984)

Costume worn by Dan Aykroyd as Dr. Raymond Stantz in the film Ghostbusters II (1989).

Embroidered robe worn by actor Joe Turkel as Eldon Tyrell, creator of the replicants, in Blade Runner (1982)

Costume worn by George Clooney as Batman in the film Batman & Robin (1997)

Tunic and sash worn by William Shatner as Captain Kirk in the Star Trek episode "Mirror Mirror" (1967)

"How's that for a coincidence?" remarks the late and much lamented Pernicious the Musquodoboit Harbour Farm Cat from his usual perch astride the pile of ham sandwiches comprising the Free Lunch (tm) at Callahan's Crosstime Saloon, meanwhile surreptitiously using a remote-controlled pair of his North Carolina Prosthetic Index Fingers (tm) to add his signature to a brief note recalling a hit squad he had been forced, very reluctantly, to dispatch in the general direction of Summer Street in Halifax to -er- purr-suade the management of a certain Haligonian curatorial staff that bringing this exhibition to Nova Scotia was in everybody's best interests...

WELCOME!

Dear Members of the Patronage-at-Large,

Welcome to the official blog for the HaliCallahanicon of 2012! Over the coming days we'll be updating this site with information about Halifax (restaurants, sights, Spider Robinson sites, etc.), travel information, a schedule of activities, and so forth. We look forward to your visit, and will do our best to make it a memorable one!